Immerse | A Journal of Faith, Life, and Youth Ministry

No one will allow young adults to have responsible positions in church.  I was teaching Sunday School at 14, now we would rather abandon Sunday School than encourage the young adults to be active in it instead of passive.  Two of my teens are actively involved in the music ministry of our church.  I feel strongly that this responsibility will reap eternal (and earthly) benefits–its keeps them coming back. 

PS:  Is adolescence a biblical concept or is just an American one?  Our culture will not even let kids work until 16 (at least in my area of the world).  What are they suppose to do with their time???  Kids who may want to grow up cannot because our emphasis on safety has made it impossible for them to move on in life until they are 18 and maybe by then it is too late (for some)

It’s true. We are not willing to let our young adults be trusted in the decision making process of the church. I work in New Zealand. In my denomination, our National Youth Coordinator is trying his best to have policies on leadership be inclusive to young adults, particularly in some of the national decision making groups. Even so though, when we put the challenge out there, there is often a tendency to shy away from responsibility, and the opportunity to participate, no matter the encouragement.

Far too many adults in the church do not see the intrinsic value of teenagers to the life of the Body. Then many expect them to make an instant jump into church life as mature, well-developed young men and women without acknowledging that the Body is made up of many parts that all work together to display God’s manifold wisdom in the church (Ephesians 2). Instead, most churches hire or find someone “relevant” to do youth ministry while abandoning their covenant with the child’s parents at baptism to help them raise their children in the fear of the Lord. Cross-cultural ministry must be cross-generational within the Body to represent what Christ desires for His bride.

Hey Mark, Great questions. I am a father of a 30 year old son and a 27 year old daughter and a youth minister for 17 years. Wow have I learned a lot about what not to do, at least for my family. I liked your comment that we as adults need to take our fair share of responsibility for the delayed adolescence of our children. I have found that when doing that with my children and youth they are much more inclined to do the same. Theologically I believe it is the simple principle of personal responsibility. In all… we are in this together…like it or not. blessings brother…Harold

It is true that we are partially to blame for the narcissism of young adults. Which leads to the question: what do we do about it? (Ahem, it doesn’t “beg the question”–that term refers to circular reasoning–sorry, it’s a pet peeve of mine). Do we encourage it and potentially extend adolescence into the early 30s? Gee, can you imagine 100 years from now dealing with 40 year old adolescents…wait…never mind. I’m not certain what the answer is either. But I think part of it is training parents to parent kids to become interdependent (again–we have to be careful that we are not buying into the American cultural of individualism). But a 27 year old youth minister cannot effectively do that. We need veterans who are in their 40s and 50s and have successfully raised kids. Perhaps the church should stop creating enabling programs and begin to make disciples. I was a youth minister for nearly 20 years and a preaching minister for 15. Presently I teach a house church. I asked my 17 year old daughter (who teaches the children) if she wanted us to find a church with a youth group for her and she replied, “Why?” She’s too busy serving to be interested in a youth program built around her. Maybe that’s a step in the right direction. I honestly don’t know myself.

The questions seems to be headed in the right direction, but even if the answers are found is there a true avenue of application for change? When I have moms and dads that are wearing the hippest and latest styles, embracing better appearance through surgical support and chemical application is it not with the parents that some of our toughest questions need to be asked. Like you I am a father of two – one teen and one pre-teen. So I am concerned with these issues as a parent and as a 25 year youth minister.

A few years back I read in Scientific American Mind magazine that the underdeveloped frontal cortex in teenagers notion was bunk and that teen aged immaturity was more a result of not giving appropriate responsibility. Having said that, my opinion of extended adolescence is that is more a problem with people in early midlife than teens and young adults. Unfortunately those are the very people raising the teens within a framework of the comfortable cultural efficiencies they have come into during their own generation - those things that seem like entitlements, many technological, but that really form a foundation for the commercial, convenience lifestyle of anyone younger than 40 or so. I can see the slow change coming in these – openness to contemplative practices, integration of science and theology (both of which were at one time in integral part of any Christians maturation process, btw), movement to inclusivity, tolerance, compassion. But we are behind the maturity ball because of the slow progress of overcoming a Christianity of conformity and exclusion and a lack of really practicing the way of Jesus. Truly following Jesus takes courage and sacrifice…through inner work. And only the well-prepared internal compass is really ready to get that. Mature kids are raised by mature parents. Lets get the parents thinking (educate them – open their minds and transform their hearts – build them into BOTH doers and BE-ers) and perhaps, no not perhaps, I know the kids will step up. I know some really insightful kids that our current culture is not fooling one bit.

Thanks for such a timely discussion Mark.  Some of the parents in my group have been discussing this issue in the reading of Walt Mueller’s “The Space Between.”  (great material for a parent discussion group, btw)  It is a complex topic to tackle with so many factors impacting the issue (single-parent families, difficult economic conditions, etc.) 

Regardless of the complexity, old familiar scriptures inform us of how to battle the issue.  Parents need to parent, not be afraid to say the difficult things that their children need to hear.  Proverbs 22 reminds us of the role of the parent – “train up a child so that when they are old they will not depart from it.”  This assumes several things – parents are growing in their own faith, they are being transparent in their walk willing to ask for forgiveness when necessary and having high expectations for their children.  Scripture does not gives us the promise of easy parenting but the outcome of Christ-centered living. 

Parents need to say what they need to say to their children, teenagers should be taught of their giftedness and worth while being given opportunities to serve, and churches must be places of encouragement for all involved.

Thanks again for the discussion!

I am not certain, and please forgive me if I am wrong, but I get the impression that many who are commenting are dealing with middle income, churched kids. Many parents (not all, and I won’t even dare say a majority) in Evangelical circles fit the picture of middle income adults facing midlife and trying to stay young (and I’ve dealt with those kinds of parents). But there is another demographic: those parents who have arrested development due to drug use and other lifestyle choices. It seems there is a growing population of adults who are in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who have never really matured. I have witnessed adults like this who honestly do not understand why they should not be taken care of and why people should expect them to act in responsible ways. This is not just a middle class Christian problem. it is a societal problem. The causes may vary–but the end result is the same. Young adults who are not embracing adulthood because the adults in their lives haven’t embraced it either.

Very interesting question to ask, and highly relevant. I do think that we as leaders have to focus on both areas, creating the atmosphere of sharing and community (which teens are very good at), and also focus on the parents to guide and teach them that there is more to life than just the self. A gargantuan task? Perhaps, especially looking at the time constraints and willingness of adults to take leadership roles in the church, but a necessary task none the less

There is another role we may have forgotten: the role of college. It has become much the same insulated institution as high school (ok, I know–not nearly as insulated as high school, but still insulated all the same). As many students have told me: community colleges feel like high school. So in college they are still seen as putting off the final move to adulthood. Now days even the BA is seen as the basic degree when 30 years ago the High School Diploma was the basic degree.

The word teenager and the position of youth pastor are not in the Bible. Amongst the Orthodox Jewish 12 is the age of adulthood and is celebrated as such. When my last two children reached 12 we told them they were now young adults. We never had the typical problems of rebellion, no drugs, no drinking, no wildness, no late nights. We could leave them and not fear for wild parties etc. Don’t get me wrong. Youth pastors are needed because our culture has extended childhood. The whole public school system creates a problem. the Word of God says that “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child”. when childrens primary companionship is with other children and a few significant adults the children’s influence is very strong. One of the problems in our culture is we have a lot of adult sized bodies inhabited by the untrained foolishness of childhood, “me, me, me.” Many youth groups are focused on entertaining the youth and simply a place where parents are happy for their children to at least meet other Christian youth to date. However lacking maturity there are myriad problems. In my opinion youth groups should be primarily focus on the fun and fellowship found in serving and helping others followed by some food and fun time fellowship. Treat a 12 year old as a young adult, listen to their wonderful ideas and harness their wonderful energy in useful projects. Shpw them all the respect and consideration you would any adult. Never discount their ideas or feelings and listen attentively to all their thoughts and words. Correct them with admonitions not from psychology but from the word of God. Once they are of an age od reason never just command with simply because I told you so but show them in the word of God the principle behind the rule. That way hopefully they will form convictions of their own based on the Word of God and they will not feel compelled to run amuk when rules come off when they go to college or leave home. My two children who were raised this way are adults now. They are not perfect but they are both pure, they do not drink or smoke or party. they are not stiff or legalistic but are caring compassionate adults who truly have care and concern for others.Worldlings respect them because they are real however Christians often times have problems with their uniqueness.

yes, bryan.  agreed (at least in concept, since your baptism comment took it out of a broader context, which isn’t my tradition).  and that “portion off the teenagers” approach reveals, as you hint, something significantly moldy about our theological understanding of church (both in who the church is, and what the function of the church is).

i didn’t take the time to unpack that in the short post, darryl.  but yes, there are plenty of people in their 30s and 40s still stuck in extended adolescence.  but that’s not just a non-white or non-suburban or non-evangelical issue.  adolescent specialists say that within 20 years, there will no longer be a meaningful upper age boundary to adolescence.

Well said Marko.  We can celebrate what people experienced in Biblical times, We can identify negative things happening in culture and in family systems and in churches.  I think some of these perspectives can be talking mouths doing nothing but making noise or energize ‘technigques for fixing adolescents’. both have their obvious failings.  I think you strike a good question here: What perspectives or tensions do we need to live in theologically as well as sociologically? I’m sure the greater Youth Min field will talk about Incarnation as a theological response but what about other theological nuggets like covenant, or Mission of God, Creation beauty (as you rightly see in human development). I’ve got some ideas but like you, I haven’t formed them up yet.

peggy, i could be wrong, but i think you might have misread that article (but still have reached a correct conclusion).  i don’t think anyone who studies teenage brains would say that the ‘underdeveloped prefrontal cortex in teenagers’ is bunk.  the question is more about the assumptions and implications.  in other words, many (the majority) assume that the teenage brain has always been this way, and we’re just now discovering it.  others (like robert epstein), are suggesting that teenage brains are the way they are for cultural reasons, because we don’t expect them to use that part of their brain.

either way, you’re correct in your understanding that “meaningful responsibility and expectation” are a primary factor in moving teenagers and young adults into adulthood.

rich discussion and comments here, folks!  thanks!

just FYI, i wrote this post back in July.  since then, i’ve written on it a bit more.  a few links:
http://www.immersejournal.com/immerseblog/why-youth-workers-should-care-about-extended-adolescence/
http://www.churchleaders.com/youth/youth-leaders-articles/154800-mark_oestricher_why_you_should_be_concerned_about_extended_adolescence.html

in fact, i wrote a long article about the implications of teenage brain development for immerse.
here’s that article: http://www.immersejournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/This-is-your-brain-on-adolescents.pdf (pdf download)
and some responses on the immerse blog: 
http://www.immersejournal.com/immerseblog/this-is-your-brain%E2%80%A6-on-steroids-the-complicated-world-of-neuroscience-and-youth-ministry/
http://www.immersejournal.com/spiritual-formation/going-deeper-with-mark-oestreichers-this-is-your-brain-on-adolescence/

The bad news is that for your teenagers (both your own and the youth) it may be too late. They’ve already been raised in our age segregated culture. When we moved from one room school houses into education factories, and from extended family living situations to isolated nuclear families,  we doomed our culture to rampant narcissism. Children used to grow up in communites – extended family, church, school, small town. In these communities they were expected to contribute from the time they were toddlers. Now we put them in age level ghettos and wait on them. Then somehow expect a miracle.

My kids had chores. They resented it that they had to help at home in ways their friends did not. (Now they are proud that they are the best/ only people who can actually cook in their shared housing.) They also were required to participate in community service. They’ve been to urban ghettos in the US and tiny villages in Latin America. I asked my 22 yo daughter recently if she felt deprived that we didn’t have the things that her friends could afford. She said she wouldn’t trade the experiences that she had for her friends’ lifestyles for any amount of money.  

The thought that “within 20 years, there will no longer be a meaningful upper age boundary to adolescence” is pretty chilling.  There are portents this is already rampant: widespread delusions that “someone else” is going to take care of me–and pay for it, too–abandonment of personal responsibility, neglect or procrastination of it, at the very least.

Bapotter, adolescence as we know and experience it, is a cultural creation, not a biblical concept.  though the phrase isn’t in the bible, the concept that would be more close to what was practiced in those days (and in every ‘day’ prior to the early 1900s) was ‘apprentice adults’.  

i’m not a throw the baby out with the bathwater guy.  i’m not a ‘shut down youth ministry’ guy either (see here: http://theyouthcartel.com/2011/is-youth-ministry-biblical/).  but i do think it would be great to consider how we can create our own counter-cultural movements, in our homes and in our churches, that moves young adults (i’m using that term to mean everyone over about 13 or 14) toward adulthood, rather than isolating them and treating them like children.

darryl, to be clear: i’m not using the word “insulated,” i’m using “isolated.”  and i don’t think today’s college students experience any less isolation from the world of adults than high schoolers do.  today’s college experience is not an on-ramp to adulthood, to be sure.  and most churches treat college ministry like youth group, part 2.

I am concerned that there are still people arguing that “youth” is not a biblical concept. Both Yeled (appears 76 times in the OT) and Na’uwr (appears 46 times in the OT) refer to people between childhood and adulthood. Recnet scholarship also points to the beginning of Jesus’ ministry starting at 30 because until then he wasn’t considered fully apprenticed by his father. The mystery seems to be one of separation. Certainly young people were married before age thirty in the OT, so at what point were they considered independent?

Having said that, it is very reasonable to think that the idea of “youth” was a cultural phenomenon in 2000 B.C. as well as today. I’m sure it was as unique as our thoughts of adolescents today, though.

Personally I believe this is due to the  elder generations reluctance to concede control over social constructs and businesses.  With the huge difference in life span combined with the overt over babying of children these days this creates a rift and doesn’t require them to mature.  It is just yet another side affect of expansive over population in the world today.

Could not agree more. I’ve been saying this for years about our culture. We have the immature teaching the immature way too often. The expectation bar is set very low when children and youth are not challenged by wiser people who see what God really finds important. I gave up on spending a lot of time in entertaining years ago, and decided the fun will be built into the important things we do. That’s what they really need anyway (and want).